Yes Virginia, I Done Good

There are times in life when we all have doubts, and no one really can predict when that will happen. They can be little, like whether or not it will rain or catastrophic, like whether or not our sons and daughters are growing up to be leaders or minions. Every once in awhile if we’re lucky we get a glimpse of who our children will become.

Mother’s Day 2016 uneventfully came and went, but I didn’t mind because my wonderful son had called me May 6 to wish me a Happy Mother’s Day. Besides that, if I got too sentimental I could always peruse the photos of us taken over the years and the new photos he and his wonderful wife Alexa would take when they returned to Panama City Beach, FL the following weekend. 

I did spend Mother’s Day reminiscing, and yes teary-eyed. I always get this way when I think of Mom, and yes the “good mother” doubts creep into my mind and cause even more raw emotion. And let’s face it, you can only use so many tissues on your eyes and nose before your body says “Enough already!”

The Kids returned to PC Beach for their weekend camping trip May 19 and did take some beautiful photos which made me all teary-eyed again. (I’m such a sentimental softee; or to quote Terry Moore from  her movie Second Chances, “You’re just a cactus covered marshmallow.”) 

Well yesterday I finally checked my mail (yes I really do need to check it more often) and discovered the most beautiful Mother’s Day Card with such a cherished, heartfelt note from Bernard Jr that I cried for a half hour! Yes my friends, sometimes if we’re lucky and live long enough we get to witness our little Phoenixs morph into the work ethic driven, honest, dependable guardians they have become thanks to you. Can Life really get any better than that?

Me, Bernard and Alexa boarding The Sea Screamer at Panama City Beach, FL April 23 (Alexa’s birthday).

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Sam Elliott?

Is that Sam Elliott I see

On this Gulf Coast Cruise with me?

The Sea Screamer bucks and rocks

As we struggle to stay upright.

“Sam” almost fell into my lap

But was able to adjust.

No one knew if I sniffled at my “loss”

Because of all the water spray.

Oh what a lovely day we had

As the dolphins swam and played.

Me and “Sam Elliott”

Together on this day.

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True Friendship’s Price

True Friendship is priceless, you think, but if you look closely, you’ll realize that’s not so… Take my childhood friend, Barb Gambill (The Gad About) and me. Our friendship has lasted over 55 years; through long term separations (this last one since 2005 when I moved to Alabama).

We’ve had our trials of chauffeuring each other around: for KMart diapers for her son Ricky (the only ones that would fit him) and KMart cream rinse for her poodles who were hyperallergic, to her picking me up at the St Louis Airport when I pulled my back in Las Vegas, and babysitting Bernard Jr when he had pneumonia so I could work. And the list goes on and on (as the cliche goes)…

Recently Barb and her son, Ricky have found themselves in a battle they may never win: the money battle. Like so many of us who keep stretching our dollars, trying to make them last (and realizing it ain’t gonna happen) they need $3000.00 to save Ricky’s sight.

When Barb first PM’d me about this I cried. I cried because I already knew the “vision loss” fear because of wet macular degeneration I’ve been battling since 2010. I cried because I already knew how helpless she’s felt knowing her only child was hurting and she couldn’t help him. I cried because I wondered how I could scrounge up $3000.00 so Ricky could have eye surgery that WILL save his sight (which alas I cannot have).

Once the emotional roller coaster past and I began to think, I started asking Barb questions and was told they’d already tried getting a $3000.00 loan (which is pretty impossible without collateral and on a limited income). I asked if they’d tried GoFund Me and she said no; so Barb and a friend back in St Louis set up an account for Barbara Gambill to save Ricky’s sight.

So far only 2 people have contributed and once again I’m fighting back tears; feeling helpless and frustrated as my best friend and her son worry and suffer. Ricky’s surgery has been postponed, but not cancelled, so there’s still hope that his eyesight can be saved.

The fact that the GoFund Me idea was mine haunts me and I feel so guilty. I have no idea how much money Barb’s gotten. I know some people like Sis mailed her checks and money orders, but I know it’s not enough. If I had $3000.00 I’d give it to Barb because she’s my “family” and I hate to see her in pain.

I was the first one to contribute to her account and I debated about just mailing her a check, but how could I when using GoFund Me was my idea? I thought Facebook would rally around her, but… I shared on FB and prayed along with her and her friends, and at least we still have a chance because the surgery’s been postponed. It’s not the doctor, but her insurance that’s causing the problem. They want the money upfront. The sheisters won’t even let her make payments and the doctor’s already waived his fee. (I wish she’d tell me which insurance company it is; I’d plaster their name all over my blog “#scheister.”)

Here is the link to Barb’s GoFund Me account. I hope that you can help — even if it’s just to share this. Perhaps we will succeed after all and finally find just what True Friendship’s cost is. Thank you.

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Wrong Year Padre

I was perusing Facebook (I do spend too much time there) when I discovered an advertisement about “future predictions.” Being naturally curious about my future (as so many are) I clicked on the link because I want to keep informed with what Trump and Cruz are up to, and can’t forget Hillary and the New World Order. 

The link took me to an advertisement for a reading from someone who professes to have rapore with Guardian Angels. I like the idea of someone “watching my back” and Lord knows that we all need that in these trying times. I was really debating the “should I or shouldn’t I” when I noticed the title. I don’t remember the exact words because it’s really hard for me to continue and believe something that says “2015 Great Reading” when it’s 2016, but you almost had me “Padre.” Tell California Psychics I said “Hey.” Onwards…

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Hello World

It’s been quite awhile since I blogged. Every time I began, something would happen and I would stop. So many false starts and no finishes, and yet so much happened… That’s what happens in life… curves or barriers in the road that we can either circumvent or let stop us.

What caused this mishmash of words to finally stick to this post, you ask? Facebook posted a blogpost from 2013!

Now the recent stresses reaffirm themselves as I begin to decide just what to write. There’s the mini-war with the USPS that I lost when I complained about the mail carrier who stuffed (and stuck) a Christmas package in my friend’s mailbox and I wound up paying for a ruined perishable package. (They thought I’d be happy with a “We’re sorry,” but I was not.)

Aggravation and stress are a part of life, and sometimes we can “win” the battles and sometimes not. Onward…

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The Circle Completes

Oh my Little Love
Take my arm and guide me
as you did Grandma so long ago
For the time has come when
I need your love and acceptance
of what our futures hold

We cannot escape it no matter
how we try
But we cannot accept it
or we will surely die

Just as Autumn’s leaves fall
from the trees
Our parting time approaches

Do not mourn what is to come
for it cannot be changed
Just honor and cherish the
remaining time for it will
ease your sorrow
And someday your arm will
be enfolded like you did
mine and Grandma’s
And Life’s Circle will be

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Random Thoughts

My poetry and other notes.

My poetry and other notes.

With tears I put these jumbled thoughts to paper

Trying to decide what to share with friends and family

For I do not wish to hurt or worry them as the feelings and dark memories flow

Perhaps it is just best to write them down and wait…

When the sun rises tomorrow I will decide

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