When Dad died in 1995, Bernard Jr and I saw a counselor because my son was so hurt and angry at Dad for deserting him, and just couldn’t “process” all his conflicting emotions. The sessions were difficult to schedule and attend because I had no leave due to using it all up because of ankle surgery in January of that year. If I couldn’t get an evening appointment (which was rare) I had my pay docked when Bernie and I went during the work day.
I did manage to learn some things that helped me, such as It’s ok to be selfish because if you don’t take care of you, you can’t take care of anyone else. The counselor also said Bernie and I were too close, which bothered me for the longest time because I felt like I was destroying his life or future, but as time past (and we connected with Bernard Sr’s family) I realized Southerners do seem to be closer than Northerners.
Anyway I digress from my story… My son and his wife have split and I can only imagine how he feels. It’s been about a month and Bernie’s slowly opening up and talking with me. I’m trying to keep my mouth shut (which ain’t easy,) but as I learned from my divorce: There’s always enough blame to go around for everybody.
Bernie and I ate out Thanksgiving Day and he was going to borrow my car to run errands on Friday, but his plans changed so he stayed here with me Friday night and returned to Dothan Saturday.
He stated that he’s seen me more in the last month than throughout his 6 years with Alexa. (Sometimes that’s what happens when you’re trying to appease people). I “jokingly” told him, “You can come up here and sleep any time.” Sometimes ya just gotta know you can come home. Onward…