Fear, You Suck!

I haven’t blogged in months. I’ve begun, but never finished. I guess it’s just hurt too much.

You see, Sis told me months ago that she has cataracts and macular degeneration in both eyes! She saw a retinalogist who said she needed surgery on “the good eye” first, but she was so traumatized by the visit that she never followed through!

I can understand. I would’ve never navigated my own fear and pain of repeated eye shots if my son, Bernard Jr, hadn’t been with me. Now as I recall those horrible doctor visits, I realize just how brave my son was. He never complained, even when he held my hand and walked with me into the dreaded room. He would chat with me and even joke while we waited for the retinologist to come and give me my shot. Then he would take my hand and guide me out to the car.

I have since apologized repeatedly to him for subjecting him to that horror, but really, isn’t that what families do? I told Sis I would take the bus back to Cahokia, IL to hold her hand for moral support, and tried over the months to convince her to see the retinologist and discuss her options, but she consistently refused. When we spoke on the phone, she told me she’s not even going back to see the eye doctor. She’s resigned to the fact that she’s slowly going blind, and I’m resigned to praying for us both.

About sandrabranum

I'm a philosopher, dreamer, poet, writer -- not necessarily in that order -- and I get to write it all down and share it with the world thanks to the Wonderful World Wide Web!
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