Yesterday’s Gone

I saw the retinologist yesterday and it was hell. Now comes the tough part of deciding just what to do. Here is an excerpt of an email to my sister that I sent today.

Things aren’t that great because I know too much. I’ve been crying since yesterday (and am crying now). The Dr. hurt me with the specula when he put it around my eye. I jerked and he had to stab me twice. My shots are more frequent now and I know what that means. It’s gone from 10 wks to 8 wks to 7 now. I think I need to find another dr or just quit with the shots. This crying isn’t helping me at all. Even Bernie commented on the dr. I can’t remember his exact words — something to the effect that he would never think that he might accidentally stab me in the wrong spot. You see my eye got really red last time and I mentioned it to the assist. She said possibly the dr might have hit a blood vessel. He came in saying it was the betadine that caused the problem. After prepping me for the shot, he came in distracted and I got hyper because I was reacting to him. That’s when I jerked and he had to shoot me twice. Like I said it was rough. He said maybe I should start seeing him and not get a shot, and I told him I was there if I didn’t have to pay the $35 office visit. He said maybe he should start treating me like he does his kids, and I said maybe he should; so he gave me a hug and mentioned visiting without shots. He left, the assist said I could go and I said give me a minute. I just don’t think it’s worth it anymore because I know what the outcome is. Pray for my left eye to stay strong, — its pressure is higher than the other — especially if I decide to quit the shots. Meanwhile I’m going to call (my health insurance provider) as soon as I’m calm enough and see what all I need to do to change dr.

I guess I should have remembered to eat black eyed peas for luck Jan 1 afterall.

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About sandrabranum

I'm a philosopher, dreamer, poet, writer -- not necessarily in that order -- and I get to write it all down and share it with the world thanks to the Wonderful World Wide Web!
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6 Responses to Yesterday’s Gone

  1. JL Stratton says:

    Don’t … stop …. thinkin’ about tomorrow.

    Okay, just had to throw that in there. My thoughts and prayers are with you, and I hope the best for you. I fear the day you can no longer write your thoughts, and share them with the world like you do now. I hope that day never comes because the world would certainly be a little colder without your light shining upon it.

    The best to you. In my thoughts and prayers.

  2. sandrabranum says:

    Thanks Jim. If I knew how to “make” musical notes I would, but since I don’t I’ll just tell you to imagine. “Thank you for being a friend…”

  3. Bongo says:

    I can’t even imagine what you’re going through. I’m praying for you.

  4. Sandra, you’re in my prayers, too, and like Bongo, I can’t imagine what this is like…but, I’m “here” if you need a listener, okay?
    Lauren

  5. My sister was diagnosed with cataracts and since I’m having so much “fun” with my shots, she said there’s no way in He** she’s letting anybody with a needle near her eyes. I just don’t understand why! (Sarcasm intended cause it helps me cope).

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