I saw the retinologist yesterday and it was hell. Now comes the tough part of deciding just what to do. Here is an excerpt of an email to my sister that I sent today.
Things aren’t that great because I know too much. I’ve been crying since yesterday (and am crying now). The Dr. hurt me with the specula when he put it around my eye. I jerked and he had to stab me twice. My shots are more frequent now and I know what that means. It’s gone from 10 wks to 8 wks to 7 now. I think I need to find another dr or just quit with the shots. This crying isn’t helping me at all. Even Bernie commented on the dr. I can’t remember his exact words — something to the effect that he would never think that he might accidentally stab me in the wrong spot. You see my eye got really red last time and I mentioned it to the assist. She said possibly the dr might have hit a blood vessel. He came in saying it was the betadine that caused the problem. After prepping me for the shot, he came in distracted and I got hyper because I was reacting to him. That’s when I jerked and he had to shoot me twice. Like I said it was rough. He said maybe I should start seeing him and not get a shot, and I told him I was there if I didn’t have to pay the $35 office visit. He said maybe he should start treating me like he does his kids, and I said maybe he should; so he gave me a hug and mentioned visiting without shots. He left, the assist said I could go and I said give me a minute. I just don’t think it’s worth it anymore because I know what the outcome is. Pray for my left eye to stay strong, — its pressure is higher than the other — especially if I decide to quit the shots. Meanwhile I’m going to call (my health insurance provider) as soon as I’m calm enough and see what all I need to do to change dr.
I guess I should have remembered to eat black eyed peas for luck Jan 1 afterall.Advertisements