Ain’t That Tough Enough…

Monday August 15th started out as just another day.  I spent the morning blogging and debating whether or not to attend the writer’s group meeting that night.  The third Monday of the month The Last Word writer’s group meets at a restaurant in Dothan.  Dothan is a 25 mile drive (one way); so lately my attendance has been sporatic due to my macular degeneration. 

I decided to attend and had looked forward to the meeting because we were having a guest speaker, but now wonder if it is time for me to leave this group.  Let me tell my story and you decide:

The evening started out fine.  The speaker was interesting; the food was as good as always, but during an evening lull one of the members (who I thought of as a friend) decided to get “cutesy” and she hurt me.

She shot a straw wrapper at me.  Now under normal circumstances this would be nothing, but I cannot see that well due to my condition.  I cannot say if everyone at the table laughed, but there was laughter.  Now I could have panicked and overturned the table, but I saw what she was doing — not realizing her intentions– because she was sitting diagonally across from me.

My reaction when the wrapper hit me and I heard the laughter:  I proclaimed that I did not appreciate what she had done and now realized why my mother (who had both wet and dry macular degeneration) had reacted the way she did to such shenanigans.  I then arose and left.  I heard comments and appologies to my departure, but continued onward. 

Did I over react?  Perhaps… but I thought of some of these people as my friends, and I was hurt and felt betrayed.  I had trusted some of these people with my history and the woman that shot the wrapper at me has even had similar eye problems; so I thought she would be more empathetic.

I had felt that two of the women there were my friend and one of them shot me with the wrapper.  I do not know if the other lady laughed — I was too busy trying to control my emotions.

My emotions are still raw from this incident and the straw “wrapper woman” has called to appologize, but I am not ready to speak with her.  It has taken me two days to feel I can write about this.  Do I need to toughen up?  Probably so… Will I return to the group?  At this time, I cannot say, but I’m grateful that two of the other people I call “friend” were not there that night.

About sandrabranum

I'm a philosopher, dreamer, poet, writer -- not necessarily in that order -- and I get to write it all down and share it with the world thanks to the Wonderful World Wide Web!
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4 Responses to Ain’t That Tough Enough…

  1. Pepi Noble says:

    Hello – I am new to your blog but in the early days of my eye condition things like this would happen. I started my blog to share my journey with mac degen and provide info on what we experience visually – even my husband who has been on this journey with me for 18 years did not realize the result of low vision. I have come to learn that every person experiences mac degen differently. Perhaps your friend ‘sees’ differently in more ways than one.

    Pepi Noble

    • sandrabranum says:

      Thank you for your insight Pepi. Before I found myself fighting with this condition I had lived in dread of acquiring it because my mother had both types just like you. I had inherited her thyroid problem and her double vision, and prayed that I would not inherit this. Some prayers are not answered, but I know God must have a good reason for not answering this one.

  2. Valentine Discala says:

    Thyroid problems are among the most common medical conditions but, because their symptoms often appear gradually, they are commonly misdiagnosed. So much evidence suggests that thyroid problems are due to an allergic or environmental cause that it seems sensible to remove those substances known to affect the thyroid to see if this corrects the condition before taking any medication.`

    Our own web page

    • sandrabranum says:

      Unfortunately supplements cannot always solve this problem. I have been taking thyroid since I was 9. It began as animal thyroid (5 grains) everyday and continued until after my son was born. Since 1990 I’ve been taking Synthroid (synthetic thyroid). I am grateful for many things, especially that my son did not inherit my hypothyroid problem. Regards, Sandra

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